The IE Mommy

For a very long time my husband has told me that I should be a comedian. He thinks my observations on life are funny. My dear friend has told me that I should be a counselor. She thinks my observations on life are very accurate.

I think I’m just trying to get through life…being “me”.

I think God has put inside me a very big and sincere heart for women and for friendship. It seems that the longer I am in women’s ministry the larger it becomes. I care so much for the women of my church, my personal friends and my family. I  want each of them to experience God’s love through friendships, groups and team work.

Of course, life doesn’t quite go as planned and that’s where the funny, the irony, the weird steps in…if there’s a lesson to be shared or learned so be it.

If the jokes are at my expense or the lesson at my risk…that’s okay too! My heart has been heavy to share with  you all that I have learned and am learning since becoming a mom when it comes to friendships. I hope you’ll enjoy this Just Me Monday Series – “Women & Friendships”

There is one thing that I have discovered that most women deal with and that is “guilt”. Now when I say most I am not saying all so please if you are not one of these women..then Hallelujah, Praise God and Amen!

But for the rest of us…it seems that guilt is a natural part or our make up…especially as we become moms.  Just talking to women in casual conversation has shown me how much we take responsibility for what happens in our lives.

I have seen moms feel guilty about their children. If their child does something wrong…they feel bad. If their child show bad manners…they feel bad. If their child for heaven sake “acts like a child”….they feel bad.  It almost like we are darned if we do and darned if we don’t.  I’ve been there.

Regrettably that sometimes spills over into our friendships.

As I grew in Christ I also started to learn how to be a better friend. Unfortunately I have also began to take all the responsibility if a friendship didn’t work out right. I am always second-guessing my reactions, interactions and actions if something didn’t quite work out. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something rudely? Perhaps I wore the wrong outfit (lipstick, shoes, makeup, etc). I still do it to this day and I have been a Christian for a long time.  My desire to make everything right and my ability to accept the guilt if it doesn’t work out…sometimes is an overwhelming handicap.

If you fit into this category then here is my advice for you: “STOP IT“!  Yep, that simple….just stop it. Guilt is a very powerful emotion and when it is in the right place and time…it can be beneficial. If you flipped off the guy driving next to you on the freeway…yes, feel guilty..that was wrong! If you stole a pack of gum…guilt is good for you. If you lied or gossiped about your friend…with out a doubt you should feel guilty. Those actions are wrong and guilt will help you to ask forgiveness and seek a resolution.

But if you weren’t invited to the latest play date, or if your friend doesn’t compliment your outfit or if someone you know just stops talking to you…don’t feel guilty! You know as I am writing this…it sounds so ridiculous that women would feel guilty over those things but believe me..it’s true. I know too many women that think if something goes wrong or they are not included it must be something “they” did.

But is that what Christ wants from us? I don’t think so…In 2 Timothy 1:7 we are told “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” The Message uses the words “God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible” and the New King James says “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind“.

Reading just this one scripture alone reminds me that God is not a God of Chaos and does not want me feeling guilt at every thing. There is a time and place to take responsibility for our actions. There is a time and place to see that others hold responsibility for the situation. Most importantly there is a time and place to realize that guilt can be ridiculous and filled with chaos. It leaves our heart, soul and mind restless.   Isaiah 45:18 “For the Lord is God,and he created the heavens and earth and put everything in place.He made the world to be lived in,not to be a place of empty chaos…”

Dear sisters…when the guilt comes knocking at the door…don’t be afraid to ask the Lord…”Is this genuine Lord? Is this righfully mine?” and if the answer is no then remember He did not create us with a spirit of fear or timidity.  He did not create us to live in chaos. He offers us a place of rest. Matthew 11:28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

And…also dear friend…always remember you are not alone!

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I am sitting here listening to a speech and writing class (7th & 8th) graders while I am waiting for the IE Twins to finish their class. I have been blown away.

This class was required to write a story about something that was special and meaningful to them. I am sitting here working on my blog posts (outside of the 7/8^th grade class) and can’t help but hear the kids reading their stores. My attention was fully caught when a little girl stand up and says…”I am here to talk about Jesus”.

She goes on to share what Jesus means to her. She shares why he is special to her. She tells the class that He died on the cross for their sins. That forgiveness was available by  merely asking.

I was so moved by her words that I had to stand up and peak through the partitions. Her words weren’t extraordinary but her courage was. No, she probably won’t be the next Beth Moore or Anne Graham Lotz but she was speaking form her heart and I was impressed. The room was silent. The Holy Spirit was definitely there amidst it all.

I think we should all be a bit more like this little girls…especially if we clam to be Christ followers….we need to stand up and share our faith in whatever stumbling, backwards way of speaking we may have. Moses didn’t want to speak either, remember? We need to be willing to open our mouths and allow the Holy Spirit to interpret what we are saying to make sense to those listening.

I know there are times that I may stumble in expressing my faith or joy in Jesus. I may get confused or talk backwards to others  as I share my thoughts on my faith or my relationship with Christ. But God promises in his word…that His words will not return void.

So if you are a Christ follower…then I challenge you to stand up…start sharing the words of Christ and what he has done in your life. Be like this little girl and let the world see that you are passionate about your relationship with Jesus. You don’t have to be perfect, professional or even eloquent.

Believe me the next time I feel myself stumble I will remember this little girl and just keep going….

Matthew 10:19

Isaiah 40:8

Proverbs 30:5

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REPOST

Each year brings something exciting and new and I love it. Good or bad it is another chapter in your book of life opens while the past closes.  Christmas is right around the corner and with that comes 2011. Who would have thought. I love looking toward the future. Dreaming of the lives that will unfold with my daughters and their children.

But it is fun to cruise down memory lane and remember the “blasts from the past”. Listening to the sounds of the 80’s reminds me of being young and well, young! Driving around in my brand new red mini truck (remember the mini truck craze?) Big hair, big shirts, big belts and leggings or pegged jeans! Oh I was so cool! It makes me sick to think of the size of my ego, lol. But all in all it was a part of growing up and becoming the woman God has formed me into.

Stroll with me….back in time…to the days of The Cosby Show, Molly Ringwald, Rubiks Cube and L.A. Disco. Yikes…was that really dancing? In every high school, even my Christian one, you had groups of Mod, Punk, New Wave and Preppy.

867-5309/Jenny – Do those numbers sound familiar to you? If so, then you are a child of the 80’s and remember the infamous song by Tommy Tutone.

How about Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield. Are you kidding me? I would have died to be Jessie’s Girl! I don’t think Rick Springfield had much talent as far as singing goes…but that face! Catch me I am about to faint!

Another song I loved was by Human Leaque “Don’t you Want Me?” The song seems like a typical break up song. You know how they went…girl figures out she is better off without this boyfriend and she dumps him. He is desperate and will do anything to get her back. When you watch the video though….well, I don’t get it! What the heck are the talking about???? Someone help!

Stacy Q had a great song to dance to...Two of Hearts...was the perfect song to play while driving around in my little truck!

As much fun as it is to stroll back to the 80’s….I wouldn’t let my girls listen to one of these songs at all! No wonder my parents were always telling us to “turn it off”.

Think about the lyrics….YIKES!

Poor “Jenny” had her name plastered on the wall! Every teenage girl’s nightmare! But here’s the thing….was she supposed to find comfort in this “guy” calling her? Listen to the lyrics again…sounds a bit like a stalker…but then that’s a mom talking now. Back then I was like everyone else singing “867-5309!”

Maybe Rick Springfield should have thought better of smashing the bathroom mirror with his guitar if he really wanted Jessie’s girl to like him. Of course, the reference to her body make me blush as a mom. I don’t even remember hearing those words as a teenager.

“Don’t you want me?”…ok, the boy threatens that they will both be sorry! As a teenager I remember thinking “oh, he’ll probably date another girl” as a mom I think “Will he kill her? Will he bomb the school?…oh, dear!”

And don’t get the mom in me started with Stacy Q!

lol, It is fun to remember the good old days. The sweet memories of growing up are all involved with those songs but I cringe at what I was listening to.

Yes, being young is sweet…but being who I am now…is sweeter. My joy and love comes from the Lord and knowing that forever in his eyes I am a Princess, I am beautiful and I am special….yes, maybe I don’t weigh 100 lbs anymore….I’m not Miss Teen County of San Bernardino any longer…but I am something better….I am the daughter of the king. I am forgiven!

When I think of my teen years…I smile. They will always be special. When I think of myself as a young adult…I feel my heart beat because that was when my journey with my husband began….but, when I think of myself now…I cry….because I am a mom, a wife, a women and more then anything a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17) being made over and over to glorify God.

I am not worthy of His love or His blessings but he gives them because He wants to (Ephesians 1:2-4) and that makes me cry and smile and laugh!

I have know the Lord for over 24 years and I can only praise Him and look forward to each new day. Each new year in my “God’s Tale”…..

Take a moment to listen to “these” songs……and be blessed.

Open the Eyes of My Heart

Come, Now is the Time to Worship

I am Free *This is the most amazing song….

Blessed Be Your Name*Dedicated to my dad, Martin

How Great is Our God

Indescribable

Holy is the Lord, God Almighty

Our Father*By Two or More

Lord, I Lift Your Name on High

Here I am to Worship

What is about a hug that can either brighten your heart or make you feel fake?

I have never been much of a hugger. Don’t get me wrong I like hugs but I don’t think I generally am the one to initiate them.

I guess I am a bit more reserved and it takes me a while to open up and give someone a hug….

But life changes….recently I have been noticing that I am becoming a hugger. No, not the bear hug time of hugs that totally envelopes you but a smaller hug or a side hug…either way it’s a huge step for me.

In my life I have encountered three types of hugs.

1. First, there is the “Phony hug”.  That is a hug from someone that feels like they have to hug you but don’t really give a darn about you.  It’s just a step above shaking your hand.  Not really sure why they bother. It comes across insincere and quite honestly, even hurtful.
2. Then there is the “Huge ole’ Bear hug”.  They wrap their arms around you and just envelope you with all their might. They almost take your breath away.  My husband hugs like this and a very sweet friend of mine hug like this also. I love it!  I don’t think I will ever hug so unabashedly. But being the recipient of it…is amazing.
3. The third type is the more genteel “Side” hug…sincere, warm and encouraging.  Maybe they’ll include a pat on your back or rub on your shoulder. It something shared between friends and people you care for, like and enjoy.

So why am I all about hugs right now?

Well…recently in church I was attending alone so I only needed a seat for one.  I was ushered into a seat in the dreadful 2nd row.  There was a seat in the middle of the row between two older ladies.  I have met both on prior occasions but am not really on a first name basis with either lady. When I got to my seat the one too my left just hugged me and said “Oh, it’s good to see you“…then the one on my right hugged me and said “Oh, Christine…it’s so nice to see you”.

At that moment…I felt so incredibly loved and blessed to be right smack in the middle of such examples of kindness and love. I know they didn’t say much in the way of words but their hugs spoke volumes. Someone cared about me. At that moment…someone was concerned. My heart and spirit needed that reminder.

It made me start thinking….I like hugs. Yes, I am becoming a hugger. I enjoy getting and receiving hugs.  Kind of a weird step for a reserved person such as myself.   I guess my only caveat would be please don’t hug me if you don’t mean it. Kind of cheapens the love. ya know?

I want to be able to give someone the feeling and love that I felt this past Sunday just by a simple hug. I seriously was thinking and praying for these ladies the rest of the day. Pretty powerful stuff.

So…what do you think? Are you a hugger? Should you be? Let’s talk…and by the way…consider yourself cyber-hugged because you are all pretty special.

Join in the Praise at 160 Acre Woods and at PennyRaine.com

**Photo captured by Heartlight.org