Big life changes can be a challenge for adults. They can be even more stressful for teenagers. If your teen is adjusting to a new school, a new home or a new life with divorced parents, here are the reassurances they need to hear.
Life change: new school
Whether it was ten years ago or thirty years ago, we should all be able to remember how challenging school was as a teenager. There were crushes, bullies, exams, tests and teachers who you just couldn’t make like you. Well, it will be the same for your teenager, only in different quantities. However they feel about their current school, uprooting them and moving them elsewhere can be tough. This might range from slightly stressful to utterly traumatic, depending on how they feel about their current school.
It is so important to take the time to discuss how they are settling in at their new school. Actually listen to what they are saying. You need to be able to distinguish the unfounded whinges from genuine concerns. This article has some more tips. http://www.education.com/magazine/article/10-ways-child-adjust-school/
Whatever their stance on the new school, give them some leeway for a little while. If they want to sulk for a couple of days, give them their space. If they want to walk themselves to school, either let them or drop them off a couple of streets away. They will be adapting to new playground rules and will need you to support them as they figure these out.
Life change: divorce
You’ll have heard it time and time again. Children caught up in a divorce, or there once it all ends, need to hear that it wasn’t their fault. The reason you’ve heard this so many times is that it is so true. As adults, we blame ourselves for things that weren’t really our fault, all the time. Well, so do children and especially teenagers.
As the process is happening, keep them as informed as you feel is appropriate. There are companies out there, like https://www.divorceguru.com, who can help. Their main aim is to make the process as easy and painless as possible. Don’t treat older teenagers like children; let them know what is happening, who is involved and other such details.
If your teenagers are younger, or if you have young children also, you’ll find some helpful tips on dealing with the whole process here. http://www.theiemommy.com/2015/10/14/tips-child-cope-divorce-divorce/.
Life change: house move
The reassurances teens need to hear in a new home are very similar to the ones that adults need to hear. They include things like the fact that you will make friends in your new area. That your new bedroom will start to feel like yours soon enough. That any aches and pangs for your old home will start to fade. Be sure your teen knows these things and keep on telling them to reassure them.
Communication can be super helpful here. Sit down with them and be honest about your own worries. Teens are clever enough to know if you’re lying or hiding anything. They’ll appreciate your honesty, even if you too have doubts about the new place. You may even be able to get total honesty in return.
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