Yes, I really did just hashtag snot. Why? I feel it is totally necessary and relevevant to the topic at hand, er… nose. I see it everywhere, everyday, all around me. Green…snotty….noses. And just as common as the green snot I see are the ridiculous excuses that moms use to try to explain it away. Lets just go ahead and talk about the things that green snot is NOT!
Green Snot is NOT:
“Don’t worry, he’s not sick. He’s just teething.”
For the love of all that is holy; if I hear one more mom explain away her child’s green snot with “he’s teething” I’m going to lose my ever loving mind!
Yes, it is an absolutely convenient blanket excuse considering the fact that babies and toddlers are basically teething for their first two years of life. Except that it’s a load of crap. None of my three kids had snot during teething. I asked their Pediatrician if it was possible and she said some kids do get a little CLEAR drip when they are teething. But not green snot. Not ever never ever.
“His allergies are so bad this time of year. His nose just runs and runs.”
Allergies do not cause green snot. Runny, clear, drippy nose with itchy, red, watery eyes: yes, all of the above! Green snot? Nope. Not even a hint of green. Not even a tinge. Just clear. Crystal clear.
“He’s so tired. Sometimes his nose runs when he’s tired.”
Your kid does not have green snot from being tired. Good effort for creativity but there’s no medical foundation for that. Try again.
“Oh he’s just getting over a cold. He’s not contagious.”
Here’s a hint. The snot is green. He’s contagious. Oh yea, and for future reference, colds ARE contagious. That’s why they call it the common cold.
“There’s nothing wrong with him. He has a chronically runny nose. It just runs for no reason ALL the time.”
Yea, if your kids nose has green snot ALL the time, he’s sick ALL the time. The only thing chronic here is your bad excuse.
“Oh it’s nothing. Just a runny nose.”
At least the other moms had the decency to come up with an excuse. Green snot is never nothing. It’s always something. (Hint: see below)
Green Snot IS:
Green snot indicates infection. Your kid is sick. Call their Doctor. You’re welcome. Tell all your friends.
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