When you are little you are taught there are four seasons in each year. Perhaps you are even taught what the weather is like in each season or what holidays or birthdays might be expected within that seasonal time frame. It is as they say “elementary”…it’s just part of life and living.
What no one ever seems to remind you is that friendships have seasons as well. I think if we were to share this “secret” with our friends and daughters…there would be a lot less heartbreak when friendships don’t endure over time. Some of you may have heard the term “She was a friend for a season” and other may not have a clue what I am talking about so let me explain.
As a new mom…I found myself trying to find a “home” for my girls and I. I knew that I would need a support system and a group of friends that would be able to understand where I was coming from and what I was going through. None of my sisters or aunts were stay at homes and most definitely no one had twins…so I was on a lone canoe trying to navigate through uncharted waters.
I joined Mommy & Me groups, MOPS, Mom meet ups and a slew of other groups trying to find something that just felt right. Ever been there? I bet you have.
On my journey I met an amazing mom who had little boys around the same age as my girls, she loved photography and yard sales. She was outgoing, outspoken and a total Type A (just like me). I was excited to make this new friendship. For a while we had fun play dates and outings. I felt so blessed to have met this person. I shared my excitement about meeting one of first “real” mommy friends with everyone…and then we just stopped talking and getting together.
Now if you’ve been reading my posts lately you’ll know that I instantly brought all the guilt to myself. I tried to figure out what I did wrong? After much thought and prayer…I couldn’t think of what I could have done. I missed my friend. I swore we were going to be friends for a long time. In fact, maybe our kids would get married. We were all so well suited for each other! lol Finally a very wise friend said to me “Christine, sometimes there are friendships that God gives us…just for the season. They are not meant to be forever…but just during the time that we need them”.
Wow! I had never heard that before and it was an eye-opener. I started to reflect on the lessons and encouragement that I had learned from this “Super” mom and realized that there was a lot that I learned from her. Some people are natural moms (she was one of them) and others have to learn it as they go along (me)...so having her step into my life when my girls were itty-bitty was very life changing in my outlook and confidence on my mothering skills.
Since that time I have learned to hold all my friendships lightly. Yes, there are some that become very near and dear to my heart but only God knows what the next turn will be…so I hold them lightly. I try to be a good friend at all times. To share my heart with them and my love for them … but I hold them much lighter then I ever did in the past. There are have been a lot of women that I would call friends that did not stay for a long time in my life. If our paths ever crossed again I would be joyous in having their active friendships again. If they don’t then I know with a clear heart and conscience that they were there for a season and a blessing.
There is so much to learn from those that cross our paths in life…if we only allow ourselves to realize that it might just be for a season and open our hearts to what God wants us to learn during that time.
Enjoy the season you are in, my friends, and look anxiously toward the next because life and friendships are a series of seasons.
A Time for Everything
1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
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All stories and opinions are my own. They are not a reflection of any particular person and/or group.
They are not intended to offend any person and/or group.
Thoughts, situations and scenarios are a compilation of my personal experiences, observations and reflections.